Take me back to last Sunday

Last Sunday, life was good.

Everything was so simple last Sunday

Last Sunday, all I had to worry about was Spanish...

Heaven was last Sunday

This Sunday was Hell.


No its not a poem.

Just a small updated to say.

My boyfriend of 7 years dumped me this weekend.

Some slag kissed him, he kissed her back... for a bit then pushed her away. Took him 5 days to tell me.  Me being the fool I am decided to forgive him but of course that wasn't his problem.

He wants to be single.

So i'm left heart broken and unsure of what to do anymore. Everything is totally pointless now. Whats the point of getting a degree to get a good job to buy a house so I can get married and habe a family? When theres no one too marry anymore.

I think i'll drowned in my own self-pity for awhile...

It sucks because i'm still clinging to the hope that he'll see what a mistake hes making and beg for me back... which isn't a good way to live eh? He wants me to go visit him next week, but for all I know he could have just been saying that so i'd stop crying so he could leave.

My eyes are sore.


I decided to get a haircut... because that will of course make everything better. So in 20mins i'm off down the street to get one.

I am being rather stupid and totally emo.

What am I meant to do with myself now eh? Everything seems pointless...
What do I have to look forward to now? He says he'll still visit me... but its not the same...
Whats the point of being totally alone in Edinburgh? I held onto the hope he'd miss me and moved down after Christmas...

I hate this flat...

The new guy, though he cooks me food now and then, is really noisey and untidy and never buys and bloody loo roll!


-sigh-

What happened to the postive me I finally managed to become?

I can safely say, life, right now, is HONTO fucking SHIT.


Thought this was meant to be short?

You know, I was thinking today how to a normal person my life must look soo fucking sad and boring. Honestly I have no -real- friends (OMG BAR YOU CET OF COURSE THE BESTEST FRIEND LIKE EVER AND A DAY), I don't go out like... anywhere, I don't do anything. Yet i'm so fucking happy with my life right now its unreal! I wouldn't change a thing, it's all just too good (bar Spanish XP).

This morning I woke up late, cos i'm a good student like that. All morning I was grinning like a tard, and I came home to new Bleach, Vampire Knight and Cross Game. Twas a good day!

Bleach was all - :O omg wtf?!
Vampire Knight was all - OMG ZEROOOOOOOOooooooo <3 Yuuki.
And Cross Game was all - Well it was Cross Game... I really can't explain why I like this anime so much...

Tomorrow I have my induction with Icelands. Should be interesting... working for a supermarket again... what was I thinking... (I dunno... something like... NEED MONEH FOR CONS... oh and foodz)

Ok so for realz and all that shit, i'm going to go study some Spanish because the textbook I ordered finally came.

OHOHOH, I bought the new muse album... not... totally... impressed... but i'll give it some more time.

I've been listening to Kawaii Radio FAR too much... it on pretty much the whole time my laptop is on...

...

...

I could go get something to munch before I study... brain can't work if my tummys yelling at it right? >.>

Indeed i'm ill again... whats with that?

I wrote more of my Ulquihime fanfic I started... last year lol.

Stayed off college today due to the illness... was only math and history. If I had of had spanish today i'd have dragged myself out of bed at 6am, desipte only having 2 hours of actual sleep, and gone... but thankfully I didn't! More good news is that we're off till tuesday so i'll have had 4 full days to recover.

I find out if I got the job with Icelands tomorrow... if I did... it means I can go to Kitacon! XP

Just checked my bank today... I GOT FUNDING!!! I actually have money ;.; omg... first thing i'm doing when I finish this post is to buy "So you really want to learn Spanish" book 1.

That ish all


NICKI

I've started to notice that instead looking at randoms peoples pics on DA or peoples Fanfics on FFnet even the peoples comment on certain LJ groups... that i'm begining to see the SAME people on differen't sites! I was justing reading a fic and thought i'd check out the persons other stories, just to find out i'd actually comment bombed a ton of her pics a DA not to long before that.

It's such a small world o.O I really never thought I'd say that online... but it really it!

Oh look an update.

- THE DIET! Dun dun dun.
So the weight loss isn't going too well lol... x.x It's honestly going into week 3 and i've still only manage to loose 1 lb, but i have to be honest with myself here... I wasn't trying in the SLIGHTEST. The college has a gym...so we MIGHT be able to use that after October. There is also a belly dancing class i'll be going to, loads of girls from the class wanted to come too but the beginners class was full ;.; So i'll be going to post beginners on my own -sigh-.

SO yeah since i'm poor i'll have to be better with the food i can (afford to) eat. It's all bread and stuff to put ON bread, pasta, rice, noodles.... tinned tomatoes lol. NOTHING IS FRESH... I kinda miss fresh veg and fruit... omg when was the last time i had some fruit! The tinned tomatoes? lol.


- COLLEGE! Omg!
SO the frist week we just walked around Edinburgh spending money (I didn't have) bonding with our classmates and see "interesting" things about Edinbrugh. Other than the company of my fellow classmates and the Mosque Kitchen, that sells cheap curries, It was a MASSIVE waste of time and money.

SO in walks week 2, mostly another huge waste of time as we almost ALWAYS went home early... the INSANE amount of breaks (if i'm down for 2, 2 hour classes back to back I expect to be working for 4 hours! Not having like 3 breaks during them). The only class thats has really made us do any work so far is Spanish (I keep typing Spainish lol).

Our Spanish teacher is a nice lady and all that, but fucking hell STICK TO ONE TOPIC. It seemed like there was no plan for the class, just a basic idea. No "I will teach you greetings today you can then go home and learn them" instead it was like "HERES THE GREETING OMG THIS IS THE FEMALE AND MALE OMG LETS CONJUGATE VERBS!!!" within the space of mintues. I have NEVER learnt a WORD of Spanish in my LIFE. I honestly just sat there, with my month open in shock. My classmates have commented that I just spend 2 full hours with a look of terror on my face, they wouldn't be wrong.

Speaking of which, any of you SPEAK Spanish? Yes speak it, not do you know a random word in spanish or a sentence you remember from a game (yes Cet you lol). If you do.... omg hey did I tell you how much I love you?


- OTHER STUFF!
I ate a Kanagroo burger, it tasted much like tuna.


I think that's pretty much my life these last two weeks. There was ofcourse the HUGE amount of time i've spent online doing nothing.

Ok I lie, I was back online on Tuesday night... but there was just SO MUCH to do (like chatting on msn...) that I didn't get round to updating till now.

Ayacon
WAS FUCKING AMAZING! Thats all you really need to know. I was planning an epic step by step account of everything we did... but there is no need. We got drunk, we went to events, we asked what a susage biscuit was, we danced, we met awesome new people some of which we managed to stay in contact with and some of which we didn't... which sucks. All in all... BRING ON AMECON NEXT YEAR! Coventions are awesome!


Moving to Edinburgh
I finished work at 6pm on Saturday and basicly had the rest of the night to pack up everything I own! I did manage it. There was a bit of a hicup when i thought i'd have to pay half of the rent instead of a 3rd (as there is 3 rooms but only 2 flatmates)... but i didn't. So I got here but... OMG THE PLACE WAS FILTHY!
 
So Jamie and I went to Asda to buy lots of cleaning stuff and made it ALL better. The landlord came to get our frist months rent which was meant to be 250 per room per month.... but he was like "are you sure you want to pay that?" and i'm like "Ugh... yeah..." and then he was all "I'll do it for 230 a room" :O <- my reaction. THEN when I was signing the contract the dropped it ANOTHER 10 quid per room. So now I only pay 220 a month for rent. AMAZING!!! The discount will pay ALL the bills. Then all I need to worry about it food! YAY.


College
IT'S GREAT!!! The class is so nice. This week its all social stuff we're doing... but next week we get down to the hard work! There is two other people in my class wanting to do the same Japanese degree as me!!! We also met someone who did the access course and is about to start the Japanese degree! OMG IT WAS GREAT!


Bank stuff
I found out yesterday while setting funds aside for rent and bills using INTERNET BANKING (check me out). That two websites have been STEALING 14.95 per month EACH from my account since Feb. THAT'S OVER 200 QUID!!! So i've been to the bank and they are trying to get me my money back...


Now I need to go shower and get ready for COLLEGE!!!

TOMORROW

IT'S FUCKING TOMORROW!!!


Ok so I'm mostly packed. Got a few things drying and I need some face wash as i just ran out, but thats it! THEN I'M GOOD TO GOOO! My bag only weighs 15 kg without the last minute thingies SO I CAN BRING MORE CRAP (WINE AND FOODS)! YAY. Got to print out info on the room and flights and fill in a bring and buy thingie for the bows. I figure I'll take them, the worst they can do is say NO. It's not like my bag isn't big enough to bring them home, and I never buy anything anyway.

I'm still not 100% well but I've just got a temperature and coughing up kak... I SHOULD BE JUST GRAND.

I have a laptop! Well I'm meant too... it's yet to arrive.

I do believe that is all.

Take the bows to the bring and buy at Aya? (if they allow hand made things... in bulk >.> 33)

Sell the pinstripe ones for 2 quid each (Cheap because they where my first batch)

Black stripe ones for 2.50 quid (slightly cheaper as the fabric is thinner)

and the black ones for 3? (because they are the best ones I've made)

What do you think? Will this be allowed? Will they sell? Should I bring all 33? Should I lower the price? I just want rid of them so I can make MOAR. They don't take up much room.

Ok so I didn't think I was that unwell... until this morning when i coughed up something then started puking my guts up. I've never broken the capillaries around my eyes being sick before... but today I did.

Of course I did not puke my guts up for the lolz, I did however take a picture for the lolz.





I had to phone in sick... which I'm pretty pissed off at.

Lolz.

Indeed I finished it yesterday and bar one little cosmetic mistake and is totally unnoticeable. I'm very proud of it. I totally want to make more stuff for people SO get looking at dress patterns and send them to meeee I shall make you stuff! (YES I'M TAKING TO YOU CET).

( THE KIMONO!!! )

SO i knew Muse had a new album coming out, I just didn't bother to look at when. So today I think i'll go listen to the new songs and it hits me... new album... they must be planning a tour! I'll pay to seem them again, so I look at the tour dates and... EVERY FUCKING UK TOUR DATE IS SOLD OUT.

I FAILED ;.;

I could buy them on ebay but.... for like twice what they cost, and I'm not that rich. Muse are like the only band i've ever even bought an album for.... ;.; i'm pretty sad i missed out.

Kimono is 1/2 of the way done. Need to sew the top, finish the bottom then sew on the collar.... then I just need to make 3 ties and an obi x.x another 2/3 hours work... if I'm lucky ;.; In the ends this will have taken me like 10 hours... lol x.x . However it is looking good and I'm all proud!

Off to do Tae Bo for the second time then off to bed with me ^.^

So like. The ayacon diet is failing lol, but I am being pretty good and doing Tae bo. Going to start doing it twice a day now. I'd have done it twice today but I just spent like 3 hours cutting out fabric for Raine's kimono x.x It's all cut out and I should hopefully sew it all together tomorrow.

I'm like soooo annoyed. Everyone's cosplaying but meeee. I bought a whole bunch of extra white ploy cotton so I might try and make Orihime's Arrancar outfit, but I doubt I'd get it finished in time. Seems all the people I want to cosplay... don't seem to wear much clothes. I wanted to do Kuro from Kurokami.. but all she wears is a coat. Simple cosplay you might think... if I could have found the bloody coat >.< . I think I'll just have to put on some ears and a tail and be random fat cat girl in a dress again.

Still need to make my t-shirt. better buy that transfer shite soon.

Its almost 4am x.x I better sleep.

Lol, ok so ignore the fact I can't draw for shit, but here is how I'd like my dress to look.

( THEY BE UNDER HERE )

Ok so I'm on a diet till Aya. Going to kick it at about 14 to 16 weight watchers points with Tae Bo once a day till next week then try for twice a day (might try for 3 times a day the Monday after that but we'll see) and of course walking to and from work. Basic aim is loose as much weight by the 13th Aug... so I can then put it all back on while at Aya lol.

Last minute diets suck, but its my own fault for booking holidays a month before Aya.

Just did my Tae Bo dvd it'd pretty sad that I STILL know the routine by heart... considering I haven't actually done it in years now. I did it twice a day once before on 16 Weight watchers points and nearly lost a stone in 3 weeks... aiming for that again >.> I've got size 14 dresses to think about you know! Really really pretty size 14 dresses...

Going to go get fabric tomorrow to hopefully make myself a nice dress for Aya. Black and white of course. Got a basic idea of what I want but not sure how well it will work. Would be hard to explain and I'm shite are drawing. I'll try to explain.

The front will have a black panel with patterned black and white fabric for the sides and back. The back will open up showing a white kind of a bustle petticoat thing that will also hang lower than the skirt with a ruffle along the bottom. Square neck with not so capped sleeved as i've got fat arms. The back will be elastic thread shite (i know how to do it, just not it's name). So it'll sit nicely. Not sure if I'll put corset ribbon or not. But there will of course be a big ass bow at the back... if i learn how to tie one nicely that it lol. If all else fails I'll have a black panel front patterned sides and back lower hanging white petticoat with bow and elastic shite. Will try to draw it. I'll most likely just give up on it lol... I fail.

Lol

I'm 13 stone 0.5 lbs

MEANING I've gained 4.5 lbs.

Is 12:11am to late to be doing Tae bo? ;.;

So here is a bit of an update.

I've got a flat, the room is huge and PURPLE, but the area could have been nicer and its like an hours bus trip to college... of course this all depends on if Lee doesn't skip the country with my 250 deposit... it'd be just my luck if he did... ;.; He seems really nice though. And I get get a contract... a very badly written contract >.>;

Edinburgh was kind of... confusing. It's huge and I couldn't really tell what street was the main street as there was shops EVERYWHERE. I've never seen so many Scottish themed gift shops in my life. I counted about 8 and I wasn't even looking for them!. The streets where covered in rubbish... was there a binman strike or something? We ate at this AWESOME Chinese bit, it had PORK BUNS >.< omg yum.

I've FINALLY got round to putting up shite on ebay. I've put up about half of it. Will finish it tomorrow. Still have to re-take the stupid bow pictures ;.;

I NEED to lose weight for Ayacon. Going to take drastic measures now lol. I want to fit into the pretty dresses damnit >.< getting the good old Tae Bo DVD out again lol. It's like only 3 weeks away now! WTF it seemed like FOREVER >.< and now its almost here.

Stupid job. Being stupid. No transfer still. Stupid stupid... >.<

We went and stayed at Jamie's mums. Went to Dundee to buy a car then drove down to Lockerbie. We where only meant to stay one day but ended up staying two. When we got back the gerbils had chewed their water bottle to bits and tipped over their food... seriously they are meant to be ok for up to 3 days on their own... but not our gerbils, no, they can't go 5 minutes without us. Jake (the hamster) was fine.


5 words thingie

SO you are meant to reply with "WORDS!" and I'm meant to give you 5 words to talk about too, but I wouldn't bother, as I'll have no idea what to give yous >.>;

I was given dresses and high heels, cosplayers, the venue, tuna and cheese toasties and Anime by Cet.

Dresses and high heels;
Not so much since i've gained at stone or two... but I do love wearing pretty dresses and big ass shoes out to get pished. I don't go out of my way to act fancy. I'll just get pished and act like and idiot. If I wasn't so large I might get into Lolita style clothing... but only semi in looks and not in way of life. Rules don't sit well with me. OH I JUST GOT NEW SHOES! 18 quid! Ok they aren't new... but they are Demonias >.< I'm not one for labels (another reason I'd fail at Lolita) but these shoes rock!

Demonia Abbey-03 -



Cosplayers
This reminds me that I've yet to make my "I'm at your con inappropriately touching your cosplayers" t-shirt for Ayacon. It's not just cosplayers that need to worry when in my company, I also have a thing for tails and ears. So if you are ever at a con cosplaying a smexy male... you may want to run when you see me >.> ... Lol... nah the worst I do is ask for a hug and blush. If you do get touched it's purely by accident >.>; honest...

The Venue
Lol, neon green drinks, nasty food, sweaty walls, sticky floors, dancing with nakie feet, being touched up in the loos, smuggling in drink, being young, under-age drinking and walking home with no shoes on.

Tuna and cheese toasties
There is only one person this food reminds me of and that's... CET. This really was our thing. I never ate it unless I was with you. In fact I haven't eaten it since the last time we did. We should make an effort to eat tuna and cheese toasties next time we are together lol.

Anime
I used to watch A LOT of Anime, but these days I read more Manga than anything else. I've not had much time for either of them in awhile... but I'm sure I'll catch up when I'm at college lol. Anime has been part of my life since before I even knew what it was. Pokemon wasn't really the first Anime I watched but it was the first one I knowingly watched. Then I found Sailor Moon and Dragon Ball Z and then I got the internet lol.



Omg that was long o.o;

So basically when I'm away in Edinburgh this will be my food budget... about 15 quid a week. I'm doing a trial week to taste the food because a lot of it is... Smart price lol.

So my menu each day is like this


50g smart price cornflakes (2.5 points) - These are fine, just not sweet 3/5
1/2 pint of skimmed milk (1 point)
3 slices of smart price brown bread (3 points) - Tis fine bread 5/5
1/7 tub of asda garlic cream cheese (.5 point) - Nom nom nom 5/5
2 slices of smart price ham (.5 point) - Tis processed ham as good as it gets 4/5
Lettuce (0 points)
Tomato (0 points)
400g potato (4 points)
1/2 a tin of smart price chilli (2 points) - I'm really impressed with this 5/5
or 1/2 tin of smart price beans (2.5 point) - Ah beans are beans 5/5
or 1 tin of smart price tuna chunks (2 points) - A little watery tasting but still good 4/5
1 smart price cereal bar, strawberry (1.5 points) - Really impressed nom nom nom 5/5
Or Chocolate (2 points) - Sickly sweet 2/5
1 200g smart price strawberry yogurt (1 point) - It's a bit... meh and 30p per pot 1/5
1 smart price green apple (.5 point) - I like red ones more ;.;
1 garden gang banana (1.5 points)

Total weight watchers points 18 to 19

As you can see I'm getting a lot of food for my money... and my points. That amount of points should keep me loosing weight till I'm under 10 stone, at which point I'll take away a slice of bread lol. I struggled to find cheap 1 point yogurts... and even the ones I found cost a lot... 2.10 a week on not very nice yogurts. It was hard to make sure I got 5 a day too... do potatoes even count? lol. Speaking of potatoes I get a massive 5 kg bag for like 1.50 o.o; I'm worried this is a seasonal thing...

Lets hope the hardship fund will give me some money >.< stupid work not giving me a transfer...

I'm so pissed off right now it hurts, I made a video and took loads of fucking pictures of these stupid bows. Spent about 2 hours at it. Just to find out the the quality FUCKING SUCKS... So I'm going to have to do it ALL over again.

These where the best I got.








I'm so annoyed ;.; I really wanted to get them up on ebay tonight, but I just can face doing it all again tonight.